steam

I'm astonished
Twice I laugh to disguise
what is within me.
A midday shower no longer soothing
the tired eyes and arms
falling to their rightful sides.
The water is warm here.
The vapor is penetrating.
I haven't found it yet
but I feel like it's not here.
Looking seems oddly disconcerting;
I search anyway.
The light is fogged with enclosed air.
It waits for me to finish,
uninterrupting while openly present.
There are few things like that here
and I start to see myself as two.
One for others.
The other I keep close and closed
maintaining my own selfish protection.
Steam makes me feel malleable.

My instincts tell me I'm not.