musak

Another night another room another phone call
One more day
Another road another sign by my window
Counting miles away

I'd come back I would
I would come right back to your arms
If I only could

So long hard roads
Wake me up when we're home
Wake me up when we're home

Yesterday is today is tomorrow the next day Is the same
As I wander these miles I wonder
Should I have stayed

I would turn around
I would come right back your way
Just not today

So long hard roads
I'm coming back home
So long hard roads
Wake me up when we're home

I might turn around
I'll come back some day
I might turn around
I'll be home some day

So long hard roads
I'm coming back home
I'm coming back home

I have a friend Sabe who is quite poetic. She often will quote songs or write poetry on her blog. En lieu of that, I thought I might do the same. I'm pretty sure she doesn't read my blog anymore, so I think I'm safe copying her. This song has been in my car for a while, but I haven't put the CD in my player for a while. But it was in there tonight on my drive home from work, and I thought that it really did describe my feelings.

The first day of school went well. I've only been to one of my classes, but I like it. I have it with a friend of mine (whom I know because I know her older brother, who got married, so I started hanging out with his younger brother, and thus I met her). My teacher took roll, and I heard a few people I know, but there was one that stuck out...

I heard the name, and I could only think to myself, "I know her somehow." I took a look at her face when she turned around, but I still didn't know her. Well, when I was at work, it hit me. She comes to my work at least once a week. We all know who she is, in fact, the first thing that my coworkers said when I said her name was, "Oh yeah. Red Jeep." Funny.

I'm feeling better than I did yesterday. I'm still working on myself, and I DO need a lot of work, but things are better. "So long hard roads." I done with the pain of them, and now I rest, so, "Wake me up when we're home."

school-mas eve

School starts tomorrow. I know... exciting.

Actually, it's going to be great. I'm taking some fun classes that I think that I'm really going to enjoy. But, I do have a first: An online class. I've never done one before so I really don't know what to expect.

The break has not been what I expected, and today's been a hard day. I'm learning a lot of about myself. I'm learning how to find happiness in myself, and in God. I hope that this semester goes well.

poetry

Someone recently said that I write sad poetry. I've had a long, crappy day, but I found a poetry journal from a long time ago. One of the entries was pretty dark, but with some editing, it's only moderately so:

A lone walk on a semi-deserted street
No one seems to notice the quiet disturbance,
but I am there.
I fill a glass half empty with my instincts.
The only person I commune to is the pavement beneath my feet.
I see a small boy with a clouded mind crying and realize
that the glass between us is yet another mirror.
The smaller hand passes two, the larger, twelve.
Each step being more painful physically
while piercing my troubled heart.
Jumbled letter on the kitchen fridge create words
that no one else can see.

A more cheerful poem about a friend: (dated 3/30/01)

Bright yellow flames kiss the cool night air.
Blanketed in showers of brilliant stars
and a cool red sky
As if a guide, a half full moon
(conquers the night sky)
Watching upon all that are around it
Friends enjoy each others company, and they seem to laugh along
And you,
staring into the life of the flames.
Your accomplishments were recognized tonight.
The happiness succeeded the fright
And it makes me smile thinking of how happy you are.

And lastly, a poem that Matt and I worked on. Well, we each took one image and created a poem out of it. I'll have to look for Matt's. I've got it somewhere. The image is the crescent moon, as a black cat with one eye winking:

A black cat with only one eye
looks down upon God's creation
Odd, how life can begin in one place.
One moment.
Waves surge across blades of grass
Echoing out the insanities of nature's fury
But these are mild cries,
for she is only reminding us that she is there
so no one will forget who is in charge
and who we must praise for this glorious sight.
One life ends, another begins
This eternal circle, never ending
Flows into this abyss of time.
Until the last war is fought
the last song is sung
When the earth takes it's last breath
after the cat closes her eye
Then true beauty and silence...

I feel that poetry is the gateway to someone's true self. It's been fun to read these, to see who I was, who I've become, and how some things don't change.

I'm thankful for the experiences in my life that have shaped me. (and that it's okay to have a crappy day where you don't feel appreciated).